Childhood Praise: When is too much
Ban On Booing Eliminating Children's Ability to Cope With Life
Mar 6, 2007
Are we praising our children too much? You decide!
According to ABC News, “ High school sporting officials in Washington State are cracking down on un-sportsmanlike behavior and considering a ban on booing at games.”
The reasoning for the ban, coming from several different sources seems creditable:
- High School Students frequently become cruel at sporting events with booing, making it a personal attack
- It is difficult to hire officials because of the treatment from crowds
- The intensity of competition is ratcheted up by siblings, parents and friends, combining to make a hazardous situation for players, attendees and officials alike
Opponents are worried about the lesson we may be teaching our children: That to encounter opposition or hardship in life is not normal.
The problem is much too complex to boil down to the banning of high school booing, of course, but paying attention to the details – as we must while raising children – is important to see the overall message parents are delivering.
From the time our children are born, some parenting resources will urge you not to harm your little one’s psyche by pointing out problems in his personality/behavior/homework, etc. Far too many parents become the emotional slaves of their children, speaking to them in hushed, milk-toast tones while giving platitudes regarding losing a game, striking out, getting a poor grade or failing at a new task.
As a result:
We have made it possible for our children not to take responsibility for their actions – all in the name of not hurting their feelings.
We have taken away the daily lessons that grow emotional maturity, resulting in an adult who can face adversity with optimism and triumph over disappointments
Is this what we want for our children?
In a very real way, all of these components are inter-linked and determine how the next generation will develop social relationships and confront adversity and disappointments.
Booing is rude – and people lacking in manners and compassion use it to express themselves during athletic events; but it shouldn’t be banned.
Banning booing is tantamount to banning free speech and as loyal citizens; we can’t let that happen either.
So…what is a parent to do?
- Let your children experience some struggle without interference in their lives. When they strike out and head back to the dug-out, the coach may give them some words of direction and encouragement; such a discussion should take place without your interference unless of course the coach is unduly harsh, using personal attacks.
- Teach your children the beauty of old-fashioned manners. They will think twice about booing or treating teammates with anything less than compassion.
