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Discipline: Rewards and Penalties

Rewarding Good Behavior, Punishing Bad Behavior and Teaching Kids Self Control

Nov 24, 2006

Ten Steps to Effective Discipline, by Weiss and Wagner has the advice you need to set up an effective reward and penalty system for your child.

Below we’ll complete our look at the Weiss and Wagner book, Ten Steps to Effective Discipline

Parenting Trap VI:

But She’s Supposed to Do That! Waiting too long and rewarding too little, too much or not at all

Rewarding behavior is like adding fuel to a fire. Reward appropriate behavior if appropriate behavior is what you wish to have. Reward inappropriate behavior with attention and letting the child get his own way, and that is what you will be rewarded with.

But…how do you reward effectively? Weiss and Wagner suggest giving incremental rewards such as half an M & M every five minutes for good behavior while in public rather than a candy bar at the end of the trip. Not only will the child ingest less sugar, but he will experience many more rewards for his good behavior!

Rewards and penalties both need to be short, swift, small and specific.

It’s easier to spot “bad” behavior than it is to notice the good stuff.
Who has the time or energy? Yes, it takes time and energy to reward good behavior, but in the end, the rewards are much greater for making the effort.
But she’s playing quietly I don’t want to interrupt her! The bottom line is this: If you do interrupt her, you will be rewarded with an increase in her quiet play than if you hadn’t.
Why should I reward my child for sleeping at night, eating is veggies or playing nicely? Isn’t he supposed to do that? Without reward, they won’t know they are supposed to behave in that way. Just as without penalty, the children won’t know what they shouldn’t do!
It is really hard to praise her when she’s been getting on my nerves all day: Be the adult here, don’t hold a grudge. As hard as it is, continue to reward good behavior, even in the midst of a bad day.

Parent Trap 7:

Who’s In Charge Here?

Weiss and Wagner assert that they are not interested in taking control away from children, but in teaching them how to control themselves. In the end, these tips and more offered in Drawing The Line: Ten Steps To constructive Discipline – And Achieving A Great Relationship with Your Kids, written by Michael J. Weiss, PhD and Sheldon H. Wagner, PhD with Susan Goldberg, and published by Warner books, can help us to raise creative, independent adults who can think and do for themselves, who have high level of self-esteem and who can meet, overcome and enjoy challenges!

Missed our early articles in this series? Find out more about Ten Steps to Constructive Discipline:

Effective Discipline

Discipline and Your Child

The copyright of the article Discipline: Rewards and Penalties in Early Childhood is owned by Connie Newbauer. Permission to republish Discipline: Rewards and Penalties in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.