“While simply watching violence is bad enough, watching the victimization of someone you depend on for protection and safety can be devastating.” Says Binnie LeHew in the article titled, “Effects of Domestic Violence on Children.”
Domestic violence affects millions of women regardless of their race, religion, or economic background -- and because a large majority of these women are mothers, it is estimated that more than three million kids witness the horrors of abuse in their homes each year.
How Domestic Violence Affects Kids
Statistics show that 50 percent of men who abuse their spouses also abuse their children. Even if kids aren’t on the receiving end of abuse, “. . . the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the psychological trauma of being a victim of child abuse,” says the Women’s Rural Advocacy Program.
Seeing a parent being abused can force children to live in fear, and blame themselves for the actions of the abuser. Kids who frequently witness domestic violence may have low self-esteem, display changes in their eating patterns, anxiety, poor school performance, and have frequent headaches or stomach problems. Younger kids are also likely to exhibit regressive behaviors such as bed-wetting, clinginess, or excessive whining and crying.
Even if kids are not the intended target during domestic disputes, they can be accidentally injured by flailing fists, feet, or objects that may be used as weapons during altercations. Older children tend to be protective of their mothers (generally boys), and may get hurt while trying to stop an attack.
According to Merck, “Boys who see their father abuse their mother may be more likely to become abusive adults. Girls who see their father abuse their mother may be more likely to tolerate abuse as adults.” The extent of trauma suffered by children who live in violent households can vary based on the age and level of maturity of the kids, and the severity and frequency of the abuse.
When parents are victims of domestic violence, so are their kids – and the mental scars of witnessing abuse are not easily healed. Parents may find it beneficial to their children to seek outside intervention or counseling to help them cope.
References:
The Merck Manuals Online Medical Library. Domestic Violence. Accessed 6/20/08
Iowa Department of Public health. Effects of Domestic Violence on Children. Accessed 6/18/08
Women’s Rural Advocacy Program. Effects of Domestic Violence on Children. Accessed 6/18/08
