Raising a Child's Self-Esteem

Effective Ways to Build Confidence in kids

Oct 15, 2008 Charlina Stewart

When kids feel good about themselves, it shows in everything they do. The more confidence they have, the easier it is for them to overcome obstacles in life.

According to the University of Michigan Health System article titled, “Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem,” “Self-esteem is the value judgment a person places on self-image. This judgment about worth plays a fundamental role in children's growth and development. Children with high self-esteem tend to be more productive, adventuresome, and self-assured. They are less likely to be overcome by peer pressure, frustration, or their own shortcomings.”

Ongoing life experiences play an important role in a child’s level of self-esteem. These experiences can come from teachers, interactions with peers, and environmental factors. But the most important determinant of a child’s level of confidence comes from his experiences with his parents – so finding ways to keep those interactions positive is a fundamental part of building confidence in a child.

Don’t Compare Kids to Others

One way to raise self-esteem in children is to avoid comparing them to their peers, and siblings. Making comparisons may seem harmless, but it sends kids the underlying message that they're not good enough. No two kids are alike – and they need to know they’re loved, and appreciated just the way they are.

Don’t Punish Children for Making Mistakes

Unfortunately, making mistakes is a part of life for everyone – and kids are going to make more than their share. Instead of punishing children for every little mess-up, use it as an opportunity to teach them something of value from the experience.

Let Kids Accomplish Tasks on Their Own

Resist the urge to step in and take over simple tasks for a child. A key part of building confidence in kids is giving them the opportunity to achieve as much as they can without help. The simple act of tying a shoe for the first time, or being allowed to pour milk at dinner can give a child a sense of accomplishment.

Give Kids Honest Praise for the Things They Do Right

Parents are quick to reprimand children when they do something wrong, but rarely let them know when they do things right. Moms and dads need to make a conscious effort to let their children know that they notice and appreciate their efforts to get good grades in school, keep their toys off the floor, follow the rules, be respectful to others, or exhibit kindness to their peers.

Set Realistic Expectations for Children

Be realistic when assigning chores, and other tasks for kids to do. Don’t expect a three-year old to make his bed perfectly -- it’s just not going to happen. Raising the bar too high can wreak havoc on a child’s self-esteem by making him feel lousy and defeated.

Be Respectful to Children

Parents can raise a child’s self-esteem by being respectful to him in every aspect of parenting. There is never a reason to belittle, criticize, demean, or use abusive language towards a child.

The attitudes and behaviors of parents can set the foundation for healthy self-esteem in children. When parents strive to keep all of their interactions with their kids positive, they are rewarded with youngsters who are happy, confident, and ready to take on the world.

References: University of Michigan Health Systems, “Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem.” Accessed: 10-11-08

The copyright of the article Raising a Child's Self-Esteem in Early Childhood is owned by Charlina Stewart. Permission to republish Raising a Child's Self-Esteem in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Confident Child