Raising a Grateful Child
How to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude in Children
Teaching a child about gratitude and to be thankful when they are young can have a long-lasting effect for the child on maintaining a positive outlook on life .
Research on gratitude has discovered that being grateful has a postive impact on a person's life. What if we could teach our children to be grateful, to be full of gratitude as a way to help them be more positive in life and cope with life, while nurturing their spirit?
Teaching a child to be grateful, to find the good in situations, to believe that "Life is Good" then becomes a treasured lifelong skill. For a child learning how to be grateful and express gratitude can have a positive imact on the way they view life and face the many challenges in life.
Research on Gratitude
University of California Davis psychology researcher Dr. Robert A. Emmons and his team discovered in their Gratitude Research Project that people who are grateful report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.
In addition grateful people tend to be more satisfied with what they have and so are less susceptible to such emotions as disappointment, regret and frustration. Grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life, but expressing daily gratitude and focusing on the positive can in turn change their perspective on situations and on life.
Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Children
There are many ways that a parent, teacher or grandparent can cultivate having an attitude of gratitude in a child that is old enough to understand. Here are some suggestions.
- Talk about gratitude and teach a child to be thankful for what we have even the little things and the non monetary things like health and togetherness.
- Answer “Tell Me 5 Good things about Your Day.”
- Put up Positive Post-it Notes with Messages of Thanks or Positive Praise for the child. Encourage them to do the same.
- Saying Gratefuls at Meal Time is a variant on Saying Grace. Everyone gets a chance to express what they are grateful for around the table and in front of family members.
- Sending Thank You Notes and /or Thank You Gifts for Teachers, Coaches, Music and Dance Teachers, Grandparents, Teachers Aids and other significant people in the child’s life as a way of expressing gratitude for what that person has done.
- Participating in or donating to causes (like Salvation Army) and local fundraiser projects. Sometimes a donation can be made by the child directly to the cause without buying things (like unnecessary Girl Scout cookies).
- Have the child select gently used items to donate. Sometimes the child is able to see the good that the donation is doing by seeing the old items in use (like toys or videos to a preschool setting).
- At Bed Time having the child answer the question “What are you Grateful for today?”
- Parents be sure to express genuine gratitude for what the child does. Do not forget to be thankful for the child and what he or she does.
- Have the child expressing gratitude or says “Thank You.” Encourage (nudge if need be) the child say "Thank You" to the people they come in contact with - store clerks, courtesy clerks, friends, bus drivers, janitors, secretaries, parent's of the birthday child etc.
Teaching Gratitude to Children - A Lifelong Skill
Teaching a child to express gratitude and be thankful can be helpful in many ways. Being grateful can help the child learn how to cope with disappointment and frustration. Having a child express his or her gratitude can help change their perspective and be a helpful way of managing anger.
Thirteenth Century German Theologian, Meister Eckhart offers some insights into gratitude. He believed that if the only prayer you said in your life was a simple "thank you" that would be enough.
Teaching a child to express gratitude and be grateful by simply saying “Thank You” can help improve his or her moods. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude improves the child's outlook on life believing that "Life is Good." Most of all raising a child to be grateful is a lifelong skill that nurtures the child's mind, body and the spirit.
Sources:
Emmons RA. McCullough ME, Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness: Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude. Psychology Department, University of California Davis.
UC Davis News & Information. February 2004. Gratitude Is a Heartfelt Virtue, New Book Says.
© 2008 Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, CWS.
