Talking to Children
How to Talk to Children When You are Having a Bad Day
Everyone has bad days. This article lists tips and tricks of how to properly handle parenthood without taking your bad mood out on your kids!
Picture this scenario: You move into a brand new house. Immediately, your neighbor comes over to tell you that you are doing the unpacking wrong and that your grass isn’t up to par and you must repaint your house. She doesn’t smile or offer helpful tips, instead – she almost snarls and gives off the impression that you are several fries short of a whole meal! How would you feel? If you’re like most people, you would start to dread going home and would find ways to antagonize that neighbor – right?
Think of someone talking to you that way, but instead of a neighbor whom you can escape, it is instead your parents and you are a little child. Mommy and Daddy don’t really say anything positive – instead you hear anger and frustration because you just aren’t doing anything right. Worse than that – mommy and daddy may talk nicely to you but you have to be quiet during all their phone calls, their TV shows or when they are busy. They just don’t have time for you!
Quality Time for Kids
Especially in today’s world, when a majority of homes have two parents working, the kids oftentimes suffer. Kids need both quantity of time as well as quality of time. By their very nature, they are selfish – simply because they need parents positive input to grow up well.
So – if you are one of those parents who are just having “one of those days” and find yourself either ignoring your children more or being more sarcastic or negative, take a deep breath and try a few tips to get your day back on track.
Take a Time Out
Give yourself a time out. Let your kids know that you have to go back to your room for five minutes by yourself. If the kids are little, send them to their rooms to play until you have finished your time alone. Make sure your kids know that they have not done anything wrong, but you need to make sure they are safe. Have a few “mommy” or “daddy” things back in your room. It might be a heating pad to relieve stress or a lavender-scented candle, but pick those things that will make your time out soothing and relaxing.
Set Priorities
Remember priorities. It doesn’t matter what June Cleaver would say – houses don’t have to shine from cleanliness, kids won’t die from eating yogurt and pretzels for dinner once in a while and no one will care of you wear jeans twice before washing. Keep the daily hassles from becoming priorities. Several years from now, you won’t even remember leaving the bed unmade or skipping veggies for one dinner tonight.
Choose Your Moment
Finally – know when to ignore and when to confront. If your kids are in a bad mood because you are in a bad mood, recognize that kids pick up the mood of their parents. Calm yourself down and understand this is a normal reaction in a household and don’t make this a topic of confrontation.
Praise Your Child
In closing, when you are most frustrated by outside stressors, this is the BEST time to find those things to compliment your children on. Let them know you love their drawing or think they did great tying their shoes. Don’t add a “but” on to the end of any praise statements – just let it stand. Sometimes a kid’s smile is all it takes to turn the day around for you!
