Children's Imaginary Friends

Learning the Pros and Cons of Your Child's Unseen Companion

Jan 29, 2008 Denise Oliveri

Virtually every young child has an imaginary friend at some point in their life. Learn more about these buddies and how they help or hurt your child.

It is generally a fact that your child will create at least one imaginary friend in her lifetime. As annoying as they are for some parents, they are quite common. Kids normally come up with these friends in times of need or when they are feeling lonely, sad or bored. Some children may have a whole host of these friends for a very long time, while others may have only one or two for short periods of time. If you see that your child has an imaginary friend, you should know that there are pros and cons. Here is a closer look.

Reference: USA Today; 12/19/2004

Understanding What an Imaginary Friend Is

There are many reasons why kids create these imaginary friends. These so-called friends, while you will never get a glimpse of them, are actually quite real to your child. Your child has created a certain look, name and a unique personality. If you ask your child about her imaginary friend, you might be surprised. You might find the friend is something your child aspires to be someday, or someone your child looks up to—or, the friend may be a small, weak version of someone who is real—someone they can boss around! Many times your child has created this little friend out of a need. They may feel insecure about something, or they may just feel bored. They may create a friend to serve as a scapegoat for naughty behavior. Sometimes they are made up out of sheer creativity.

Pros of Imaginary Friends

Parents that are annoyed over their child’s imaginary friend (especially when the friend spills the milk or eats the last cookie) should look at the positives. It is believed that children with imaginary friends are actually very creative and they often have better verbal skills than children that do not have these friends. Also, if your child does not do well at entertain herself, your imaginary friend may serve that purpose, too. She may not want to play in her room alone, but she might spend a lot of time in there playing with the friend.

Cons of Imaginary Friends

The real problem with imaginary friends is that they often take the blame for your child’s behavior. This can become a problem when you are trying to teach your child to take responsibility for her actions. How many times has your child told you that she didn’t dump all of the toys on the floor, but the imaginary friend did? When this happens, it is always a good idea to reinforce responsibility to your child and while you should never tell your child that her friend is “dumb” or doesn’t exist, you should encourage your child to seek help from the friend.

Reference for pros and cons of imaginary friends: Parenting and Child Health; August 23, 2007

The bottom line is that imaginary friends are very real to your child. When you think about it, while adults don’t say they have imaginary friends, how many times have you caught yourself talking to yourself out loud to no one in particular? Perhaps, your imaginary friend from childhood is visiting.

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The copyright of the article Children's Imaginary Friends in Early Childhood is owned by Denise Oliveri. Permission to republish Children's Imaginary Friends in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Your Child's Imaginary Friend