When Your Child's Pet Dies
Help Your Child Cope with the Death of a Beloved Animal
Pets bring joy to children and they provide parents with an opportunity to teach responsibility. Basic facts about physiology, reproduction, birth and death become first-hand experiences for a child who grows up with animals.
While you may have to supervise the pet’s daily care, it is important that your child plays an active role. Small chores, like making sure the puppy has fresh water or giving the bird food, are things even a young child can cope with. As the child grows, so her responsibilities should grow until she is able to take care of her pet independently.
When a Pet Dies
Parents are often unsure how to act or what to say. Taking the dead pet away and putting a new pet in its place may stop your child’s tears, but she will lose a value opportunity to learn an important life lesson.
It’s best to get down to your child’s level and tell her the truth in language she can understand. Euphemistic talk like ‘gone away’ or ‘sleeping’ is not advised. Answer any questions as honestly you can.
Let your child to express her feelings. Even boys should understand that it’s okay to cry. A sympathetic hug or comforting touch is reassuring to a child who is grieving. Let her know that it’s healthy to express emotions, and keeping them inside hurts more than it heals.
For parents who have religious convictions, death brings an opportunity to discuss issues of faith. Your child can draw strength from the fact that while death is final, it is not something to be feared, but rather a natural event.
Give your child a chance to say good-bye. Conduct a small funeral and if possible, bury a small pet, like a hamster or bird, at the bottom of the garden. Allow your child to choose something special to place on the grave. If you aren’t able to bury your pet in your garden, put up a remembrance plaque or plant a tree to remember it by.
Time for a New Pet
Allow your child time to deal with the loss before you talk about getting a new pet. Bring up the subject gently, but if your child rejects the idea, don’t push too hard. Reassure her that it’s okay to love a new pet and that you’re not trying to replace the other pet.
Choosing a different type of pet may seem less like a replacement. Research the animal before you make a final decision. Make sure the pet suits your child and that she will be able to cope with its care under your supervision. Also take food costs, veterinary bills and housing into consideration and see if they fit into your budget.
The finality of death is sometimes difficult for a child to grasp and may even be traumatic. The healing process may take time but with your love and guidance, and if necessary professional counseling, your child will recover and go on to love another pet.
Give Your Child Time to Mourn Her Pet.
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