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Posted by Connie Newbauer Aug 19, 2007 |
We are currently living in a rather large metro-area - and I must confess, somedays, I hate to turn on the news. A devoted news junkie, the one thing I dread waking to is yet another report of violence - most repulsive is the extreme amount of child-on-child violence. Some of it is gang related, all of it a preventable shame.
Let me infuse some common sense here - the solution is so simple, I must be missing something, but let's try this on for size:
- Parents, parent your children. Take responsibility for the life you have created.
- Provide a stable, loving home - financial stability is less important than the emotional
- Spend much time with your child - at least 20 minutes per day per child looking into their eyes, talking, playing a game, walking or shooting hoops
- Provide a home free of drugs, irresponsible alcohol use and pornography
- Provide a home free of weapons irresponsibly stored
- Challenge your child at every age to take responsiblity for his actions
- Raise your child with hope- Let him dream so he can see the many paths open to him by staying in school!
- Give your children rules! Our children are given to us like fully stoked steam engines - and just like steam engines, they need a track - parents are the tracks. The tracks you lay down will determine if your little engine will derail or stay on the straight and narrow!
- Know where your children are! It is okay to have to be inside by dark if you are 5, to have a curfew of 9 p.m. when you are a freshman in high school, or to have to leave a name and number and expected time of return when you are a teen! Knowing where your children are is not an invasion of privacy - it is the adult, responsible thing to do. (Regardless of what your children say!)
The two most common mistakes I see parents make are these:
1. They want to give them everything they never had as children. Too much at once - responsiblity, freedom from responsibility, THINGS, just too much of anything - isn't good. As a matter of fact, waiting for anything grows patience and an apprciation for that which you wait. Saving for something makes it that much more valuable to the person who saves.
2. Protecting their children. I know. I heard a couple readers falling on the floor at that statement, but even though we don't ever want our children to feel bad, to experience anything unpleasant, to go without, to know of struggles, etc., sometimes that is the best thing for them. Think of this: If your child doesn't do his homework, you know he will be in trouble with the teacher the next day and so you do it for him. Just give him the answers quickly, he jots them down and viola! He goes to school, grade point average is maintained, teacher is happy and all is well...until he takes a test and doesnt know the answers he would have if he did his own homework. So What? Read on...
In a couple of years, you will be taking responsibility for many more of junior's escapades because he cannot face responsibility. He won't be able to get a job or live his own life. Do you really want that? Do you really want to be the one who gets the call that your son has just shot (or been shot) by another child? I thought not. Step up to the plate; Be the guiding force in life your child needs and mentor those children around you who need a guiding star!
Many school around the country depend upon their volunteer force. Call today and see about mentoring, tutoring or being an aide - a child needs you!