Feeling guilty about the amount of video or digital media stimulation your child is exposed to? You aren't alone! Resources for those mentoring tomorrow's future.
UGH! I'm not one of those mothers ...and there are some days I feel guilty about it! I've never been overly restrictive regarding the types of television my children watch. We have our base rules, but I've had friends who make me look like I don't care at all about the garbage going into my children's minds...and that hurts.
It is somewhat like confessing to a vegetarian that you let your children eat Ho-Hos on occasion. The gapes of astonishment and disgust are enough to make you want to turn your children into social services yourself! I admit it, I'm not perfect. Not any where near.
I do care about my children's television habits.
I care that the boys are hooked on video games. I worry that the newspaper chooses to run murders above the fold because it sells papersI worry that much of the media content these days may make one of my children serial killers. I do. I just can't work myself up to ban everything from their lives.
I could make a rule banning all video games, television and newspapers from the house - and I would have zero chance of enforcing that ban. Even if I chose to homeschool the children and keep them safe and secure in my nest for eighteen years, at some point, the children wil have to go out and survie in a world they know nothing about.
Does that mean I think children should watch, read or play anything they want? Not in the least. What I am calling for is some compromise - some use of common sense. (Gasp!)
Children need guidance.They need to know the world is not perfect. They do not need to see it at a young age, or without parental supervision.
I've always watched several episodes of anything the kids want to watch. I am pretty liberal about bad language - it isn't tolerated in our home and I've told them a bad mouth is not only rude, but the sign of an uneducated person who does not have the vocabulary to say anything else. As they've gotten older, they've gained the vocabulary to make fun of my antiquated ways. That's alright. They understand what I expect in my home though. It is interesting that as the children begin raising their own families how the worm turns....one of my daughters reports that she has her husband practicing saying the names of kitchen appliances instead of curse words in preparation for the birth of their first child!
Children do not need to be exposed to blatant sex scenes, but much of what is on is way over the heads of young chidren. I have never wilingly exposed the children to an evening of
sexual inuendo or raunchy sex scenes, as a matter of fact, I have put the remotes we now have to do a quick change when something unexpected comes up! There are ten years between my eldest chid and my youngest. It was funny to see one of the older children jump up and cover the television screen when something they thought was out of line for one of the younger sibs. Parents set the tone and bar for behavior in their home. If you are consistant, the children wil learn by modeling what is right and what is wrong.
I have said it before and I will say it again: If you start setting your standards when your children are young, your parenting job gets easier as the years go by. Realy folks, this ought to be my tag-line!
Before you purchase a video game, rent it and play the game yourself. I know you aren't interested in the game - but play it so you know exactly what your child will be exposed to while sitting wide-eyed and drooling in front of the television screen for hours on end playing the game. It is important. You just have to ask yourself: Do I want my children to have the morals of the video game producer, or mine? This will probably spur you on to play the game through once before purchasing it.
I would love to walk into a room one day and see my children reading. Anything. A matress tag, a cereal box, my columns...really, anything. I've always read to my children. Right now we are batting about 50% in the "love to read" catagory. I've done everything I could to foster a love of reading....I've taken them to the library, read to them, let them see me reading, etc., etc. Some of the children even know that there is a section of the paper in addition to the sports page. It's amazing! As much as I hate to admit it though, the news you are getting from your daily newspaper is tainted.
As a journalist, it pains me to tell you this. It really does, but if you will please note the following: If you live in a predominately republican voting city, that is the view you get in the morning paper. Now, that is okay if you are a republican - but what if you are an independant looking for an unbiased view...or a democrat looking for a slightly different view? You're out of luck.
Television stations are the same way. They swing their "news" broadcasts to reflect the views of the greatest number of viewers to keep their numbers up - which generates income through advertising....
We aren't even going to mention the stories that run on the front page. You won't find many, if any human interest stories on the front page of the newspaper above the fold. Check it out if you haven't noticed. It is always a murder, an abduction, something awful. It runs above the fold so readers can see the most sensational story of the day while the paper is displayed in the newspaper boxes. Newspaper readers are drawn to the macbre. The sensational sells more papers, which generates income, which generates advertising dollars...getting the picture here?
Media outlets - all media outlets sell what the public is buying to generate money. We are living in a sick society. No one wants to hear good news, heart warming news. We want to hear or see the most sensational, bloodiest, most violent of things as a society. Even if you don't want to see violence, it is hard to look away from an accident when it is happening right in front of you, isn't it? We are all drawn to violence or sensationalism in some form. Our children need not be exposed to it in an on-going basis. Ideally, they would never have to experience any violence in their lives. Even as an on-looker.
Parents have to figure out early on what their family's standards will be. Media consumption is no exception. Where do you start to educate yourself? Where do you go for tools to help you in making some of the choices of the many that are out there?
Follow this link to resources on the suite for combining children and the media into a non-combustible mix!
http://childrenstv.suite101.com/article.cfm/children_and_television
