A Mother's communication style is distinctly different than Dad's when it comes to the children!
My husband is a great father. He is compassionate, loving and involved. What he is not - when it comes to the children - is an effective communicator.
Case in point:
Our youngest is a football player, something he loves and isn't half-bad at - he is not a stellar student. To be a good football player, you have to work out nearly 365 days a year. To be a good student, you should be reading, studying, consuming information at about the same pace as your football workouts. Our little football player is not so inclined. Why?
Of course, there are many reasons for this - primarily he is just one of those students who prefer to show up and socialize. What is having impact on how he looks at football is how his father communicates with him.
Most evenings, we eat dinner together at the table. The only siblings left at home are boys. Grandpa is living with us as well and the conversation at the table generally revolves around sports of all kinds - dependent upon the season.
However, one of the first questions asked of our youngest is how his workout went that day, followed by tips and suggestions for taking his workout over the top. The importance of achieving these goals is emphasized each night to improve his chances of playing college ball. I know - any men reading this are shaking their heads and wondering what could be wrong with this scenario.
As the lone female, this is what I hear - and I'm sure our son does as well: Football is the most important thing in life. My husband - who obviously has a huge impact on our sons - never mentions grades until the grade report comes out and it is too late to do anything about it. I'm afraid there will be no college for him and his last game will be his last. Period.
I'm fearful that both father and son will feel they let each other down at the end of the day. If I could change anything, it would be to change the ratio of academic vs. sports conversations each evening. I'm not sure that can happen in a house full of testosterone.
The best I can do at this point is to have my husband read some tips on effective communication!
