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Posted by Connie Newbauer Aug 11, 2006 |
It seems like just yesterday that I was pregnant for a full ten years - and breast fed for (what seems) a record-breaking 72 months - and what all of this led to was having at least four children in grade school at one time!
As they came through the door each night, I asked the same questions
"How was your day?" and
"What did you do today?" I'll bet you know the answers...(in monotone, please!) "Fine." "Nothin."
There were nights - many nights - I asked those questions by rote and was relieved when the rote answers were given - I just felt I didn't have the strength or energy to cook dinner, breast feed the youngest and dig for answers - and remember - the stay-at-home parent is also supposed to look spring-fresh and sexy when the spouse working outside the home walks through the door...ugh! (Who made up those rules anyway...?)
In a frightening epipheny one night, I realized that I could go - literally - days without having a full-fledged conversation with one or more of my chidren! I was heart-sick and ashamed when I realized this and immediately made two major changes in our home life:
1. We all made a renewed committment to dinner at the same table - together - without T.V. or telephone calls. These mealtimes were such a blessing - and a total blast! Not only did the kids learn table manners (even though they didn't always practice them at home!), but the conversation was wonderful and lively. We learned so much more about our children's friends, their activities, the struggles they were having - you just wouldn't believe how illuminating our dinner-time conversation was! The spontinaity didn't happen overnight, but with time it has turned into a cherished end-of-day event.
2. We spent at least 10-minutes of face time speaking with each child- seperately- each day. Studies have shown 10-minutes is the time it takes to make a child feel valued. What a cool gift for the tiny expense of 10-short minutes!
By the time the kids were in middle school, we would take each one out seperately one night each week - for a walk around the block, ice cream, to run an errand, etc; everyone one of us looked forward to their special time each week!
Of course, I don't know for sure, but I suspect this one-on-one time went a long way in making sure our children were happy, making friends and not falling into bad habits. I do know one thing for sure - the eight of us still talk about some of the wonderful memories made during these times together!