Children, just like adults, sometimes struggle over the holidays with the memories of those they've lost.
"Remembrance, like a candle, burns brightest at Christmas time." Charles Dickens
As we get older and the circle of life comes around, we are bound to lose loved ones. During the holidays,when our families are all together, the hole these loved ones have left is all the more evident and can arouse feelings of sadness in all of us, even children.
I have been guilty of not recognizing this in my own children, simply because I was preoccupied coping with my own feelings of loss; had I been my usual self, I would have talked to them about what they were going through. Why, one day, I "woke up" to what was going on around me, I cannot say, but am hopeful that these few, brief words will help others who now stand in my shoes.
If you have lost someone this year,perhaps a parent, remember the children have lost a grandparent as well. Watch how they are reacting to that loss and talk to them about what they are going through. Amazingly enough, if the words are not spoken out loud, the children can sometimes interpret that to mean you don't care about the loss - which, I'm sure, nothing could be further from the truth!
It has been said that a burden shared is a burden divided. It holds true when applied to grieving as well. Speaking to the children about that person, the happy memories you have, the sadness you feel at their physical presence being absent, can help all of you. At the end of the day, you will find that not only has your burden lightened, but your memories will burn bright once again and joy will once more find its way back into your family because joy shared is joy multiplied!
