What about Dad?

Who is that mystery man who sneaks in the door each night and naps in your husband's recliner until bedtime?

My husband has call again tonight. It seems that he has had call every night this week. On darker days, I wonder if anyone else at the hospital ever takes call.

I know many of you go through the same thing: Mom or Dad travels for their job - is deployed for months at a time with the military - or is in a service occupation that keeps them away from home. It is like being married to ghost dad! How in the world do you prioritize your family life so everyone gets to know Dad?

Making the time at home count is wonderful for the children; we talked about some of the things you can do to enrich that time in yesterday's column. What we didn't talk about was an integral part of the family dynamic: children will not be happy if their parents are not happy.

Somehow everything gets all topsy-turvy when you first bring that baby home from the hospital. By the time the children are in school your behavior as a couple is deeply ingrained and you've both made the children the priority. You shouldn't!

To have a happy and harmonious home, your priorities should be:

1.Self Unless you take care of yourself, you cannot be either a good spouse or a good parent. Taking care of you is your number one job. Get your hair done, take an art class, go fishing-celebrate you!

2.Spouse You were a couple before you had children - remember how fun it can be? Dedicate a couple nights a month to rekindling that romance. It is the best gift you could give your children - and yourselves!

3.Children Finally! Now that you've taken care of yourself and your marriage, look what a bountiful gift you have to give your children: a whole, independent, relaxed mother and a happy marriage to shelter and raise your children in!