This is a splendid time of year to brush up manners for the entire family!
Manners can go a long way to making us - and our children – blend seamlessly into any social occasion from state dinners to family gatherings. It is unfortunate; we very rarely remember those who treat others with respect by using proper manners, but always those who lack common manners. Don't be the one remembered!
Family gatherings can be a wonderful time for our little ones to practice manners more extensive than those used in the home day by day.
Before welcoming your first guest, run down a few rules of etiquette expected from the children and make it clear that at anytime, they may come to you for advice or reminders regarding what they are to do in any given situation they may find themselves.
Appearance First!Hygiene such as brushing their teeth, combing their hair, making sure hands and faces are kept clean, making sure their clothing and make-up is appropriate for the occasion should be paramount. “Make-up” for young ladies at this age may be a bit of lip-gloss and touch of perfume. Cologne and perfume should be used very sparingly, if at all.
Introduction of Guests: Practice introductions with your children! Introductions should be made standing near or between the people you are introducing and done in a clear, enthusiastic voice. Eye contact should be maintained and the older person should be mentioned first:"Mr. Erickson, I would like you to meet Greg, a friend of mine from school.”
Table Etiquette: Children should know to sit quietly, their hands and napkins in their laps with no hats on their heads. Food is always passed to the right and please and thank-you used when requesting or receiving a dish. Speaking to others in a moderate tone and mouth empty of food, regarding appropriate dinner hour topics is always nice! (No one needs to hear about Tommy throwing up in gym class while at the table.)Children should sit at the dinner table until excused by a parent or grandparent.
The Art of Small Talk: Either in a group situation or one-on-one, the listener should always be looking at the speaker and not fidgeting or looking around the room. If a comment is to be made, the listener must wait until the speaker is completely finished. Short, appropriate comments can be made with inoffensive word choices. Do not dominate the conversation and once again, do not speak loudly.
Saying Good-Bye: If you are hosting a gathering, each guest should be escorted to the door, then either shaking hands or hugging the person while telling them thank-you for visiting and asking them to come again.If you are the visitor, gather your things and go to each person, shaking their hands or hugging them, telling them how nice it was to see them again and how you hope to see them again soon. Your hosts should actually be the last ones you say good-bye to – at the door – if they too are remembering their manners!
The copyright of the article Essential Manners in Early Childhood is owned by Connie Newbauer. Permission to republish Essential Manners in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
Comments
Dec 16, 2006 5:39 AM
Connie Newbauer :
...One more tidbit for thought...Even when children are taught manners they sometimes forget or make a mistake - which is fine,although can prove embarrassing for parents - but I assure you - if people see your children trying, they will be forgiving of the few lapses! Are any of you struggling with teaching manners?
Dec 17, 2006 2:10 PM
Joni Rose :
I am the mother of an 18 year old (soon to be 19! Where has the time gone!) and Auntie to 5 kids under 7 years old!
One thing I struggle with is that I believe that good manners are essential skills and have taught them to my daughter with great success but find that others do not share my value of teaching kids manners.
The biggest struggle for me is when I see one of my neices or nephew act out in a way that I find rude and yet a blind eye is turned. What can I say as an Auntie? It is very tough spot to be in.
