Early Childhood

» Grandma07 - Spanking Children

Do you spank your children? Weigh in on the single question of parenthood that has parents pointing the finger at each other!

-- posted by Grandma07

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» crunchymom76 - Spanking Children

In response to Spanking Children posted by Grandma07:

Of course not!

http://nospank.net/

-- posted by crunchymom76

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» Angela England - Spanking Children

In response to Spanking Children posted by crunchymom76:

I have at times and when appropriate. Not really full fledged "lickings" but really just training. For example when breastfeeding if my daughter bit me I just flicked her cheek lightly with my finger, like you might flick a bug off a book or something. She never even cried but she quickly (two times) quit biting and I was able to continue breastfeeding with ease rather than giving it up at that point as I've heard many other mothers do.

We have gas heaters mounted on the wall in our older home - not Central Heat - so another lesson we had with our son at a very early age was to stay away from those at all costs. :-) It was easy enough to allow him to toddle around the room while keep a close eye on him. When he approached the heater we said "Far Enough" and at the next step gave him a light tap on the thigh and backed him up. One day of "training" and now we are able to stop him at any curb, automatic door or other danger with a "Far Enough" even at two years old. Becuase we took the time to train and condition him.

I believe that a parent who spanks out of ANGER at their child is bully and fool. If you have allowed your child to get to the point where their behavior makes you truly angry with them you are either a lazy parent or an unrealistic parent. Another example - instead of getting angry at my child for throwing food down from the highchair or becuase they tried to wrestle the bowl of baby food out of my hands and make a mess I taught them that "Mommy Will Do It" means not to touch. I could set the bowl of baby food square in front of them on the tray and not have any problems. If I had NOT done that than getting angry at my child for making a food mess would be totally inappropriate - I hadn't taught them NOT to!

The other thing I se parents spank for inappropriately is just kids stuff. I'm sorry - the child is two - he is going to climb and touch and taste and throw and play and run and THAT IS OK. He is a child! You cannot expect them to come out and act like mini-adults.

There are definately two extremes. My child is polite and says please and doesn't run out in the parking lot and comes when called and he is 25 months old. On the other hand - when it is play time he is rough and tumble, can fall and brush himself off and chase and wrestle and climb with the best of them!!

I think it is about keeping your child safe by training for potentially dangerous situations and allowing your child to have fun and be creative. I read a book that talked about tieing "heart strings" with your child - creating positive memories and images that will draw him to you in a meaningful way.

Angela

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» markbarnes19 - Spanking Children

In response to Spanking Children posted by Grandma07:

We try never to spank, although we make the exception, if we think the kids put themselves or others in harm's way.

We use timeout and taking toys and TV away, followed by discussions of what they did wrong. We also try to constantly reinforce their good behavior.

I think hitting breed hitters. It doesn't teach respect, either. It only teaches fear.

-- posted by markbarnes19

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» Angela England - Spanking Children

In response to Spanking Children posted by markbarnes19:

Oh I think there is definately a difference between "hitting" and "spanking" as used in our family. I guess it depends on your definition of spanking.
If you mean spanking in the old fashioned wooden spoon or belt-strap kind of way then definately NOT - under that definition we do not spank at our house.
If you mean spanking as in any kind of physical discipline at all (how I define spanking) than yes, we spank.

It's usually just more about beginning with consistancy when they are young to help avoid future problems.

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» Brenda Lane - Spanking Children

In response to Spanking Children posted by AngEngland:

To my knowledge, I have only "spanked" my then 2 year old once - when she looked right at me (after I told her to come back to me) and waltzed across the street.

Again - a safety thing. I was terrified but not angry. But I wanted the consequences to be memorable.

Other than that we used time-outs - at times several times a day; then as they got older, withholding valuable events or special things like tv watching or comp time. Later we added being grounded as well as taking away comp or tv time. It works

Brenda

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