Sex Education
Creating a Foundation for Healthy Lifelong Communication
EEK! Your 4-year-old son keeps popping his head around the corner at the most inopportune moments - what is a mother to do?
So here’s the scenario: You are getting out a nice relaxing shower, drying off at your leisure and your 4-year-old son pops his head around the corner and brazenly refuses to leave the room after getting a glimpse of all the mommy parts! What is the world do you do besides shriek and run back into the shower, pulling the curtain closed resolutely behind you? You certainly can’t cower in the corner until his curiosity goes away! (In the case of little boys…that could take a while!)
Sometimes mommy panic is caused by feelings of guilt for letting him get into the position of being able to see you in the first place; however, if you are getting dressed and you have a 4-year old, then you HAVE to leave doors cracked so you can keep them out of trouble!
In addition, mothers then will worry about the ill affects of a male child seeing them naked at such a young age, but let me assure you, you are more distressed than he is!
To address an ongoing problem, do the following and repeat as often as necessary:
- Try not to react as if he has done anything wrong. The next time he walks in on you, calmly, but firmly take him out of the room and tell him you need just a moment and then you’ll be right out to talk to him. Like so many things, it is much wiser to address these issues right away.
- Let him know that you understand he is curious because mommy’s body is much different than his body and daddy’s. That is because a boy’s body and a girl’s body are made for different things. A Mommy’s body is made to feed and take care of her children and a boy’s body is made to be big and strong, so he can protect their wives and children.
- Once the physical aspect is addressed, make sure he knows that God made our bodies in different and wonderful ways, and you can understand his curiosity, but you would feel more comfortable if he would let you get dressed in private.
The key during these talks (and those that will surely follow) is to set the foundation for easy communication – letting him know he can come to you about anything without embarrassment – and yet answer his questions fully and truthfully, yet on a ‘need to know basis.” It is not necessary for him to have a total rundown of the birds and bees at four, but his early questions should definitely be addressed as they come up.
